I have noticed I subconsciously hold my breath, especially on the computer. I have tried to purposely breathe when I hold my breath and it makes me feel better mentally, but I still am stressed out.
The heat is really messing with me. I don’t have an AC in my room, only a fan.
It’s weird because I notice that if I try to always be breathing either in or out, with as minimal a pause in between, life moves weirdly faster?
Like what I mean is my usual lifestyle, or holding my breath without awareness to focus on something, like reading a website or watching a video, is harder with my new breathing techniques.
I have actually noticed that it’s very hard to read something and breathe at the same time.
Anyways, yeah, all I know is that my usual breathing patterns of holding my breath all the time has got to be unhealthy, regardless of it’s causing me more problems or not. That’s why i’m trying to breathe more and hold less, lol.
I also forgot to mention that maybe it’s harder to keep breathing because I don’t smoke or vape anymore.
I have this weird theory that back when i’d smoke/vape weed or nicotine, just the fact that I always knew that I could vape/ smoke in a few minutes, it made me breathe easy?
Like being in a moment where I was stressed but knew in a few minutes I could smoke and do that ‘inhale, exhale’ motion while also feeling the nicotine, it made me breathe easier right in that moment.
I think it’s because realizing I could inhale and exhale on the vape in the future, it seeped into my psyche right in that moment, so I’d inhale and exhale immediately, just like on a vape lol.
Who knows, but, who would want to constantly be aware of their breath and force themself to consciously breathe all the time? That’s basically what I have to do. But for what? It’s a lot of extra effort, and for what reward? Fast food sometimes? Sleep? Masturbation?
Sometimes I wish I was like other people, who didn’t need a vice or a big motivator. Without one of the three ‘vices’ I mentioned, i’d want to sleep all day and be sad.
Anyways, I am still on the fence whether making sure i’m always breathing will help me. I’ve been forcing myself to always breathe and I still am very stressed and get hot flashes.
Without a doubt though, when it comes to being in the gym working out, breathwork is amazing.
It was sort of life my ‘good luck charm’. If anyone’s looking for something to keep them calm, use mindful breathing.
In the gym, whenever i’d get fixated on a person who I thought was staring at me, i’d distract myself with conscious breathing. Or, whenever I lost steam and wanted to leave the gym, i’d focus on my breathing and lock in and go even harder.
I managed to do 5 workouts — chest, squats, leg pushes, bicep curls and tricep curls, as well as 25 minutes of the elliptical.
But yeah, thanks for reading, and I hope things will get better.
Peace,
Max.
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